Family Gathering Aficionado Gifts

'Well, I cannot believe it! For once you guys are actually sitting down to Thanksgiving dinner as though there are no games on at all!'

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"You've all been like a company to me."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

One of Many California Gene Pools

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"More aphorisms, please!"

"I remember a simpler time when the Sunday dinner tables were divided up for the adults and kids."

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"You remember Champ. . ."

"Let's welcome our new member, Bob!" "You, too!" "'You, too'? Idiot!"

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"mmmmm. Now that's takeaway the way my mother used to order."

Face Painting.