Family Gatherer Gifts

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

What're you doing for Thanksgiving? Hanging out with my future in-laws. Ouch. No way, it's going to be so great. They're really nice people. I am so excited. I'm bursting with joy. I cannot wait! Are those hives? Help me fake my death.

Saying Grace.

'Tom insists on getting all the relatives together at Christmas.'

Never say you don't know how to salsa...unless you have two hours to kill.

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Jewish Picnicking

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

"Cockfosters!"

Election Year Holidays

"Papi, Tia Carmen says we're not having a roasted turkey for Thanksgiving."

Tia Carmen returns home on Christmas.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Hi-yah!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'