Family Story Gatherer Gifts

'Hey mom, look! One of Dad's old report cards! Boy, has he got a lot of explaining to do!'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

True confessions.

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

The Family Joules: Part 21

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

"No, son, you’re not ‘M for Mature.’"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

Children's Party

'Riley, I think it's time you learned the truth... You're adopted.'

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Tell us the one about swift justice, Grandpa."

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'You were a band geek?! Maybe Max will play an instrument!'

"See those birch trees on the other side of the pond? That’s the exact spot where your mother first called me an idiot."

"We're not laughing at you, sweetie. We're laughing at something you don't understand."

'It is a big day! Ten years ago, yout dad joined the union!'

"Grandpa, how did you ever survive without apps?"

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"But our history was current events when you were at school Dad!"

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

'If I want to live happily ever after, grandma, do I have to marry a princess?'

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

Saying Grace.

'It's a horror-comedy.'

"Oh I remember, it was a particularly cold day and your daddy whispered sweet nothings in my ear. It gave me such a warm feeling inside that I knew he was the one!"

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

"Oh, you haven’t seen holiday drama ‘till you’ve met our little family."