Food Gatherer Gifts

"I'm a hunter, gathering isn't in my job description."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Midwest Winter Items.

Barbecue

Saying Grace.

Grocery Shopping

Couple with lots of kids. Woman says: 'This is our daughter, my son from my first marriage, John's daughter from his second marriage, and I've no idea who the one on the end is.'

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

'And now we come to the sore losers...'

"You might call it shoplifting officer, but I prefer to think of it as foraging."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Scotland Yard - coal heavers singing in a public house

'When I grow up, I want to be just like you.'

Weekend paper with an index to the supplements it contains.

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

"So, Ben, what do you want to be when you stop sponging off your parents?"

Counting Blessings

'Can, you hear me?'

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

The vegan hunter

Tia Carmen returns home on Christmas.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

look dear... I bought two farmers

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it!'