Garden Gatherer Gifts

Barbecue

"I know we want our garden to be insect-friendly, but I draw the line at sharing my cream cake with wasps."

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

"Nice family you’ve got there. Too bad if anything were to happen to them."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Midwest Winter Items.

Dick's hobby of collecting manhole covers kept him out of trouble... except of the hernias.

Grocery Shopping

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

'After a hard day hunting, I relax by working my patch of green stuff.'

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Planting vegetables - "BEAN there done that."

The vegan hunter

'Newton's fourth law - physicists congregate periodically in obscure European cities to have their picture taken, and then they quickly disperse.

We're having a dinner party.

"You just need a few sprigs to spice up your meal Sir..."

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"Let's be realistic. Are we all going to try to keep this party afloat, or should we just go home and forget it?"

look dear... I bought two farmers

"I'm glas my dad made me mow the lawn. I found 2 phones, 6 phone chargers and a headset in the grass."

'Sure, but I'm the one who has to SKIN it!'

Wine Hourglass

Ghak was a hunter, Zhoomba was a gatherer and Fnok was a sponger.