Family Feast Survivor T-Shirts

The Forever Stamp

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"OK, now what?"

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

The Big Tree

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

Santa in 'A Christmas Box'

'How come I never see you in church?'

"Thanks for the super pirate ship, Mum."

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

'If everyday were Christmas, Mom, you'd never have trouble getting me up!'

'Kids, come quick! Santa's been here and he left all kinds of super expensive, super cheap stuff!'

'Tired, depressed, stomach upset, sounds like you're just back from a family holiday.'

Mrs. Claus's Annual Joke: 'Whoa...you're not going to work dressed like that, are you?'

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

'As you both know, your late uncle believed in reincarnation. He left everything to himself.'

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"Thanks Giving."

"Don't get me wrong, I love my mistress, but there are 27 of us, so I like to get away now and then to get some privacy..."

"Are you feeling O.K.? You haven't touched your phone."

"Yes, a glass of milk and cookies for Santa is common, but when you find carrots for the reindeers, you know for sure it's a nice kid's house..."

'Where do you plug it in?'

"Thanksgiving's not so great. Sure, you get a nice turkey dinner, but your mom goes on a diet the next day and takes you with her."