Family Feast Survivor Gifts

The Forever Stamp

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, welcome to my dystopian world!"

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Wheeeeeeee!"

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

"OK, now what?"

Holiday-Cancelling Headphones

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

The Big Tree

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

'How come I never see you in church?'

Santa in 'A Christmas Box'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

"If you're not a good boy, Santa will bring you only educational toys."

"Thanks for the super pirate ship, Mum."

Mother making popcorn string whilst her child eats the other end.

'If everyday were Christmas, Mom, you'd never have trouble getting me up!'

'Kids, come quick! Santa's been here and he left all kinds of super expensive, super cheap stuff!'

'Tired, depressed, stomach upset, sounds like you're just back from a family holiday.'

'As you both know, your late uncle believed in reincarnation. He left everything to himself.'

'I survived four Thanksgivings. I deserve to accompany you on the Veterans' Parade!'

Mrs. Claus's Annual Joke: 'Whoa...you're not going to work dressed like that, are you?'

"Thanks Giving."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

"Don't get me wrong, I love my mistress, but there are 27 of us, so I like to get away now and then to get some privacy..."

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

"Are you feeling O.K.? You haven't touched your phone."

"Yes, a glass of milk and cookies for Santa is common, but when you find carrots for the reindeers, you know for sure it's a nice kid's house..."

'Where do you plug it in?'