Family Feast Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

'I mean, what's a mother for? We had our Thanksgiving early so I'm bringing my dinner here for you.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

Stuffing the turkey.

"You've all been like a company to me."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"More aphorisms, please!"

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

Holiday Overkill.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'

You are what you eat