Family Drama Lover Pillows

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

Ask Sadie. What am I supposed to do if my grandfather is cheating on my grandmother? - Kat. Actual reader letter. This is the one time I find those things useful. What things? The watchamacallit. Your umbilical chord. Smartphone? Photograph Grandpa, record him, and email evidence to Grandma! Then smash him with the whatchamacallit! She said something nice about you.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

"I can't believe he brought her."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"Friend or foe?"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

Death Of A Salesman. Playhouse. I hear they updated it to include internet shopping.

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

"I'm a TV producer. I can get you on one of those fake judge programs, and you'll both become famous."

"Here at this firm, we pride ourselves on the family atmosphere we've created. As such, I'd like to welcome you abroad as my long lost love child, Inga."

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

"Is it wrong to be evasive and not answer questions?"

"I can't live without you in my life, but I can live without you in my way.''

'What a surprise,darling - a squatter!'

"He joined in the debate."

'The actress who kept her clothes on in a TV drama.'

You're on the "Ask Sadie" show. What's your problem?! I just found out "Empire" and "Star" are in the same universe. For months I've been telling everyone I knew that "Star" was a blatant ripoff of "Empire." But then I found out they're made by the same people and they're in the same tv universe, and I'm like totally fine with it now. Stop it! We speak "English" on this show, not "tv addict"! Wait a minute ... are we talking about soap operas? Because there's an exception for soap operas. No, we

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Don't walk away from me while I'm not paying any attention to you."

"Got things worked out with that new son in law yet?"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"I haven't finished saying no yet."

"I told you my helicopter parents are worse than your helicopter parents."

Grim Reaper watching the Lifetime Channel.