Family Drama Fans Pillows

'Your mother most certainly may not come over for dinner! -- That would be the first step towards normalizing relations!'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Time for my favorite soap opera, Nine Lives to Live.'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"My homework? It was super easy today. I drew a dragon and daddy did Math."

"What am I doing? Just sitting here binge binging."

"Friend or foe?"

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

"Guess who's going to be on national television apologizing to the American public."

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

'Safe!'

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

"...That old fool thinks I'm a stick."

'The actress who kept her clothes on in a TV drama.'

'Ralph finally got the remote control to work - his way.'

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

"We're from the TV show, Gadget Hoarders. You're so bad, we're doing a two-hour special on you."

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

Proud parent praise their child

Happy masks protest against sad masks.

Grim Reaper watching the Lifetime Channel.

Jerry Springer Spaniel

"Got things worked out with that new son in law yet?"

'Do it again.'

'Ocean view, or would you prefer to watch them fight over the will?'