Family Dinner Dramatist Gifts

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

"What will change my life?"

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

"Dad, not now!"

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"Are you feeling O.K.? You haven't touched your phone."