Family Dinner Dramatist Gifts

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

The Perfect Foil

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'After you with the camouflage.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

"Wait. Let it breathe."

'Spuds were watery. And where's my damn dessert?'

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"What will change my life?"

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

"You know, if lima beans, cauliflower and broccoli tasted like candy and ice cream, we wouldn't have to go through this every night!"

"Our steaks are unusually tough tonight."

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"If you want to be more like Mom and Dad, kids, you've got to start pounding down those Shirley Temples."

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"Dad, not now!"

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.