Family Bond Appreciator Pillows

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"Don't worry if you can't remember where the drum is, grandad. I think your internal memory is full."

The Battle of Life - Part the First

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Model Building

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

Love for the family

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

Three happy men

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"I bet you miss your brother."

'Watch out for my little brother -- he's bathroom-challenged.'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'Look what my son gave me!'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

The gift of a family Christmas

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

'Creative right?'

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"Once upon a time...long ago...before TV..."

'Any chance of getting a financial advance on my loose tooth?'

'Tommy and Billy have been inseparable since birth. You don't always find that in a placenta.'

"I can't believe Tia Carmen is working in our cafeteria! This bites! How can she do this to me?"

The Legacy of 50 Shades of Grey: 'Stay calm madam we will have you out of there in no time.'

"Emanaditas...grilled cheese sandwich...a mango... Oh yeah! And ice! Last time I sent a care package to my brother in Iraq, he said it was all spoiled."

"Mom, Dad, am I adopted?"

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Aw, c'mon, dad. You know how I hat to see that look of separation anxiety on your face."

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."