Family Bond Explorer Pillows

"Son, you're graduating tomorrow. There's something we've neglected to tel you, and we think you should know - there is no Easter Bunny."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

'Ahhh...'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'I demand a DNA test.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"Having nannies really changes you."

"If I ever start turning into my father do me a favor and don't turn into my mother."

Model Building

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have called me Euthanasia!"

'She knew we'd try to talk her-out of it.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"If you see this as motherly advice, we have a whole new subject to explore."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies.'

"I like to think that each generation will need a little less therapy than the generation before."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

"Ask Mom for Sweet Chunk Cookies. If she says no, ask Grandma."

"Listen, I'm still your mother."

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"All Vangundy is or ever shall be he owes to his mother."

'My dad is pushing me to become an alpha male, but frankly, I'd rather be a poet...'