Fame Ponderers Gifts

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Ten Commandments

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Great, now we're lost."

Off to a bad start.

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

"The arc of the moral universe."

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

Jealousy

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

A man, walking towards the intersection of ‘Easy Street' and 'Harms Way', runs into the Grim Reaper.

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.