Fame Ponderers T-Shirts

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Ten Commandments

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"Great, now we're lost."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

"The arc of the moral universe."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'When will it be o.k. to feel irrationally exuberant again?'

'Have you ever thought that being damned for all eternity to a lake of eternal fire might mask a deeper problem?'

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

'You know what I really miss? -- living dangerously.'

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

A man, walking towards the intersection of ‘Easy Street' and 'Harms Way', runs into the Grim Reaper.

'Life is like a cheap steak...it's tough.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

'At least I'm not accused of being envious, lustful, greedy, prideful, gluttonous or wrathful.'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"

Do snowmen go to heaven when they melt?

"It's hard to strike just the right balance. I didn't have enough fire in the belly for politics, but I seem to have too much for market research."