Fame Dodger Gifts

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Private Viewing

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

'Dad, I decided not to get a tattoo in the end. Like you, I got a piercing, instead.'

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"Get ready to duck...we're caught in a departmental crossfire."

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

"You'll catch her if you're quick. She made a dash for the back door."

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

"How's your substitute history teacher, Baldo?"

As the summer drew to a close, Mrs. Bank's back-to-school nightmares progressed from a class of her worst students, to a class of their parents.

Leaking Art

"Your integrity is on the line. Want me to say you're in a meeting?"

'I find it's best to just stay out of office politics.'

Cone of Silence

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

'What's up? Don't tell me they've taken off the football for Corrie?'

"For some plays, the second act is best left shrouded in mystery."

"I like to keep up with all the latest things I don't care about."

I thought it would be a good idea if we reflected on the past year...here are your photo radar tickets.

"Man-to-man talk, Randy." "Proceed, friend." "If you were being audited, and you may have accidentally burned all your receipts and ledgers...would it be manlier to run away to a country that has no extradition treaty with the ours, or to weasel out of it by ratting out an even bigger tax cheat?" "Or, would it be manlier to frame the auditor for a crime he didn't commit?" "Gonna have to take a day to think about this one."

"On top of everything else this is a bureaucratic nightmare."

Travel 1st class and avoid meeting your creditors.

National Endowment for the Artless.