Faithful Promoter Gifts

"Good morning! I'd like to come in and talk to you about the Bible..."

"That's our new church mascot."

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Garage Music

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Club DJ.

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

"I think it's the company logo."

'See you later - Remember to drink plenty of liquids.'

"Well you're obviously very good at your job so why don't we promote you to something you know nothing about!"

THE RISE OF WOMEN'S BOXING

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

"So much for that publicity stunt."

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

'When he said he was going to promote staff health and fitness and encourage a little weight loss I thought he'd be giving us gym passes.'

Give and Take.

"And now, our newest hit song..."

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

Jeff gives it up for Lent.

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

The Stock Market Giveth. . . The Stock Market Taketh Away.

'I'll be seeing you again right after our Quarterly Earnings Report.'