Faithful Presenter Gifts

'I'll be brief today since my Powerpoint isn't working.'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

Television guests' essentials in November.

Stephen Fry

Jeremy Clarkson.

The Assumption of Mary

The boy who cried Wolf Blitzer,

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

Stephen Fry.

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

The great Tea Bag Scam!

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"I understand your feelings, dear, but don't you think that Jane Pauley would just as soon see you keep your strength up?"

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

"It was a little preachy."

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

'That concludes our broadcast.join us again tomorrow for the News at Ten and our pretty faces.'