Faithful Presenter Gifts

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

'And for those of you calling in to say he is behind us - OH NO he isn't.'

Television guests' essentials in November.

'It's educational TV, Mom — the redheaded girl in the lime-green bikini has a teaching degree.'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"And what my plan may lack in coherence, it makes up for in the exhilerating momentum created by all of these super-cool arrows!"

Stephen Fry.

'Fine presentation, Matthews, but, lose the wiggle dance.'

Priest's x-ray showing his crucifix.

The great Tea Bag Scam!

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

Clive Anderson

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"I understand your feelings, dear, but don't you think that Jane Pauley would just as soon see you keep your strength up?"

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

Out of Context Nite with Jeremy Clarkson.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

Silly News.