Faithful Funny Bone Gifts

Quality Assurance

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"I was comped."

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Pray

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"I've never met a happy atheist."

Collection Discounts

Ambitions... to come to confession more often

Saint Joseph and his aspirin

God embraces social media and checks out his friends

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Eucharist

Praise My Dad...

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'