Faithful Funny Bone Prints

Quality Assurance

'About this tithing business -- do You accept manna?'

"I was comped."

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Sorry, wrong John we are looking for a Baptist not a Methodist.'

'That better not be a second rib scar, Adam.'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Pray

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Sorry, but the Wi-Fi password is for tithing church members only."

"I've never met a happy atheist."

Collection Discounts

"Look, Lord! I'm walking on water!!"

Ambitions... to come to confession more often

'I was actually hoping they'd tell us how many twitter followers one needs to be 'sainted'.'

Saint Joseph and his aspirin

God embraces social media and checks out his friends

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Everyone's a stand-up comic these days.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Placed by the Gideons

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Eucharist

Praise My Dad...

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'