Faithful Funny Bones Gifts

"Please hold. God knows you are waiting."

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Eucharist

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Holy phone

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.