Faithful Funny Bones Gifts

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"Please hold. God knows you are waiting."

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Holy phone

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.