Faithful Front-rower Gifts

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Caption Contest TK

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

How's my sermon. . .

"I was a stockbroker first, but when I realized how much time I spent praying, I figured, what the heck?"

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

Monk and Bible and Devil Page Marker

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

Minister Starts at a New Church

'Pop-up Bible.'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

TV and man

Preaching from the New Western Consumerist Version of the Bible.

Catholic-Protestant Debates....

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

"Hmmm...says here that you were in charge of your church's Puppet Ministry."

'Could I get back to you on that one? My broker says my stock went back up!'

"Don't worry, sweetie... Daddy is just adjusting the television...Mr. Maher is all in favor of people being exposed to channels like HBO."

'Any idea how united got on?'

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

'I'd like to ask the council's advice on how to get the congregation to sit closer to the front of the church.'

When you celebrate life, so does heaven.

'A wonderful sermon, father; I liked the part about a time to sew and a time to reap. When would you say I should cover the naked December calls I sold last month?'

Religious man watching religious TV

Applause in a Church

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"First off, I want to thank god, for raining down frogs and locusts on the other guys."