Faithful Football Fan Gifts

'Any idea how united got on?'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

"Uptight End"

7 can't-miss prayers to insure that your team wins.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

Elvis fan holding a sign reading 'NOT MY KING'.

"Any other reason for your disappointment with God other than your team has never won a Superbowl?"

'Now what?!'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Sunday Sermon: Does God Prefer Particular Sports Teams?

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

Red Card - Gold Card.

Referee cop.

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

"Go deep!"

Football Delivery

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

Football Violence

Sports Medicine.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"