American Football Devotee Gifts

'I wish you were as good at blocking on the field as you are on your twitter account.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

NFL quarterback slides feet-first to the ground and avoids a mugging,

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Football Delivery

'...Do the Hokey-Pokey and turn yourselves around...'

Shirley knew that Dennis would love his new 'Tackling Grunts of Famous Linebackers' clock.

'Those with a lot of Money.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's "Malaprop Man"! Malaprop man! Where are you going? To a processional footbrawl game! The Tampa Bay Bucketeers and New York Jest are playing. Are you a serious fan? Yeah, I've a sneezin' ticket holder for years! Isn't it early to go to the stadium? We nave a snailgate party in the barking lot. I drill chicken winks and square ribs! Do you get nervous watching your team play? Yes, I'm very dense during the games! And before and aft

"Bad news: all those pink NFL uniforms don't actually cure breast cancer."

"Fifty yard line! I bet you thought it was a silly necklace..."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

Football laughs as receiver misses pass.

'Any idea how united got on?'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

Church Open 51 Sundays Per Year, Closed Superbowl Sunday

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

"Sometimes I question his priorities."

'If we're 'a team', how come I have to do all the painting?'

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

NFL's 50 Most Masterful Uses of the Clock

'Excuse me, coach - but are we the hugs or the kisses?'

Thoughts of Fall

I love Kung Fu.

'Personal foul! Pepper spray before the ball is snapped!!'

'That was some hit!'

'Remember, we're in red and yellow - all the rest are bad guys...'

"The Browns are the only team in the NFL to have a malpractice squad."