Front-row Devotee Gifts

'I'd like to ask the council's advice on how to get the congregation to sit closer to the front of the church.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Various Birds of Pray.

Church Restoration Fund.

"They'd sold out of #1's."

"Scratch my head, would you?"

Give Thanks.

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

Dog with balloon, y-fronts, and party hat

'Stroke! ... Stroke! ... Stroke!'

John Knox

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

The Dog Botherer.

Souvenir of the Great Festival of the Choral Society - View of the Hall

Standup... Nihilist

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

Seinfeld.

'Take five -- I need another cold shower.'

"First time, long time."

"ButI thought he was just praying without ceasing."

"This is the book of the millennium club - Bible study."

"What? Didn't you know faith could move mountains?"

Monk

Daily Devotional

"I can't stand her 'Yogier than thou' attitude."

"It sure feels good to get the gang together."

"Front Stalls please."

'He likes closed caption. He's deaf.'

"It's not that we consider ourselves holier than others just because we choose to sit in the front row."