Faith-inspired Competitor Gifts

Jewish Weightlifting

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'Confusionism'

'Let there be cool.'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

"You know, Father, they say the Old Testament is the new New Testament."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

Paradise FC: The Blessed Y The Rest.

"When I was making money, I made the most money, and now that I'm spiritual I'm the most spiritual."

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

Played Wordle Fair and Square

Skateboard Olympics.

sale

'Ouch! I thought this was supposed to be 'softball'?'

Why god isn't listening...

'That's 12 games in a row. As my best friend, it wouldn't kill you to let me win one every once in awhile.'

'He wasn't too keen on you returning his serves.'

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

'You wobbled his knees! Hit him again! Hit him again!'

Muhammad Ali

'The end is near.'

'How obvious can you get?'

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

'Yeah? Well my personal trainer can beat up your personal trainer!'

'They're not a swimming aid - they're my feet !'

'He never wins by a head, always by a nose'.

Good and Evil: The Human Video Game

'What will it take for you to win...?' 'A nine iron to Tiger Woods' other knee...'