Belief Challenger Gifts

'The end is near.'

'Confusionism'

"Don't punish yourself for who you are. That's God's job."

'Yeah, I'm an atheist - and a damn good one.'

Monk destroys a question mark.

"To be honest, I've stopped believing in man."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Why don't you accept Jesus just to be safe?"

"Gods are imaginary friends that have evolved the ability to spread from one human host to another. They are communal parasites, and you are carriers."

"You'll pray to your god for me? Fine. I'll pray to my toaster for you. Expect similar results."

"How can your god be both intangible and male? Does he have an intangible penis?"

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Do not think outside the box!

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Choice hellhole

'Get an afterlife!'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"I have a movie plot idea... A girl is kidnapped at birth. She's threatened, oppressed, and lives in constant fear. Here's the twist - the kidnapper is only in her mind."

"I don't care what other kittens say about black cats, the person who adopts you will be very lucky."

'As to bond - while I personally have faith in your client the court cannot ignore the obvious risk of flight.'

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"I believe it because I believe it and that's how I know it's true."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

'No, man, I don't know where you're coming from. But if I had to guess, I'd say the early Seventies.'