Faith In Unexpected Places Gifts

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

Out for lunch... GOD

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Man waiting to receive communion drinks soda

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

'What does Easter mean to you?'

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

"Hey, after this, do you want to walk into a bar?"

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

'Thanks, but next time can you be more subtle when you think my sermon has gone too long?'