Faith In Unexpected Places Pillows

'Ever since we converted the church into a jail, everyone is finding Jesus.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

United Church of OMG

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

"You wanna put that back?"

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

Out for lunch... GOD

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'How come I never see you in church?'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

Man waiting to receive communion drinks soda

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

'Only way I can get people in on a Sunday.'

'What does Easter mean to you?'

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

"The disciples are gonna be totally freaked."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

'Thanks, but next time can you be more subtle when you think my sermon has gone too long?'