Finding Faith Pillows

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"That cross is not divine. It's a symbol of how out of control things can get when a teenager lies about how she got pregnant."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Tiny Visions

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Father

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Drive-thru Church