Faith Finder Pillows

"Please, Lord, enough already."

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"Have you found Jesus?"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

At the 2021 Religious Games

Tiny Visions

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'I'm an atheist!'

Father

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Drive-thru Church

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'