Faith Guide Pillows

"You are taking the responsibility as an elder to shepherd the flock a little too serious."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

'Trust me, there's nobody to rescue that way...'

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

Flyfishing for dummies.

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

Tiny Visions

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Father

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Drive-thru Church

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Nun Binning the Devil