Faith Explorer Pillows

'In compliance with Federal full-disclosure laws, I'm required to tell you that I'm really not all that sure about some of this stuff.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

A surprise in heaven

'And he said, Come unto me, for it's not what you know, but who you know.'

Yahweh/Your Way

"Do I have one too?"

A Welcoming Church.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways ??" except on Sundays, when I take over."

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

"God is out to get me."

THE FIRST CHURCH OF HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up."

"I've decided to pursue a profession where religion doesn't play such an important role."

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

Two Jewish temples on a desert island: one advertises it's "Orthodox congregation" while the other advertises it's "Reform Congregation".

'Do you ever get that feeling that you're part of some gigantic cosmic jigsaw puzzle.'

'Let me get this straight... God wants me to let him save me from what he will do to me if I don't let him save me?'

Kid to pastor: 'Doesn't Jesus worry about approval ratings?'

Welcome! Putting the fear of God in folks since 1874.

"Resisting temptation here at the monastery is too easy - let's go to Las Vegas for a real challenge!"

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'Ah men!' Prayer ending for a gay bishop.

"Faith" is the sound your mouth makes when your brain is not strong enough to use logic.

'Wait a minute Rabbi, I thought you said Judaism wasn't all black and white.'

Bibles: OldTestament,New Testament, King James Edition, Swimsuit Edition.

The wages of sin is death! 'Boy, sinners must have a TERRIBLE union!'

'My prayers don't seem to get any feedback.'

"You call it 'faith in God' when your faith is really in the humans who interpret what other humans wrote. Which was edited, revised, and translated by other humans. And was originally based on stories other humans orally passed from one generation of humans to the next, about events yet other humans claimed to have witnessed thousands of years ago."

'Hit him again Martha he still hasn't repented...'

'I know you're busy, so how about the God News Headlines?'

"I'm in the market for an easier religion."

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."