Faith With A Twist Pillows

When angels go awry.

Cheesus

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

United Church of OMG

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

"Collections were down. We had to get creative."

'Let there be cool.'

First Church - New Policy: To avoid lawsuits, Rev. Loomis' sermons no longer mention sinners by name.

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Instagram . . . weAPPon of mass distraction."

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

IOUs In The Church Collection Plate

'Nice show but you could use some cartoons.'

Out for lunch... GOD

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

'How come I never see you in church?'

"What - no alcohol, no women, no swearing? I want you to say 950 prayers as punishment for wasting your life!"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"Reading the Sunday Funnies 'religiously' does not count as worship."

A virtue of vicars