Faith Conversion Gifts

Jesus at Lost and Found booth.

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

Tiny Visions

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Drive-thru Church

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Father

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).