Conversion Curious Gifts

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

Hair Crop Circle

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

The government is lying to us about life on the moon phobia.

Today's lesson, the rainforest.

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Yes, the migration flight home is always faster, but it's thanks to the prevailing winds, not just because we're keen to get home..."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"The Real Reason For Global Warming."

Just north of the rainforest: the mostly-sunny-with-a-30%-chance-of-rainforest

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"It's January Dad, where's the snow?"

'It's an antique, but as accurate as any modern forecasts.'

Continental drift - an Eskimo in the jungle.