Faith Conversion Pillows

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

Tiny Visions

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Father

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

Drive-thru Church

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Nun Binning the Devil