Religious Conversion Pillows

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

"I'm in the market for an easier religion."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"You must be a 'new Christian'. You still have that new car smell."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

Women outside church, "well I don't like the way he's leaning towards Rome."

He's converted to Christianity.

Man with various tattooed names crossed out and replaced with Jesus

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

Nun Fight.

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Pope Benedict 16th.

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

They're missing a few commandments.

"I guess ten is enough."

'It's just a phase they're going through.'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Take two tablets and call me in the morning."

John Wycliffe

"The trustees feel the Reverend Dr. Clapsattle does not harmonize with the edifice."

"Wouldn't it have been easier to just download them?"

Sweater Vestment.

Abimélech

"OMG, a right wing, ultra conservative, radical religious nut."

Plagues

'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'

'You might want to let that one go...'

'I'll let your people go as soon as they've performed their community service.'

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"