Conversion To Judaism Pillows

"Actually, I was first drawn to Judaism not because of the religious beliefs but the dietary restrictions!"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Oymoticons

'Yes, all at once!'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Christmas sweater alternatives

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

'What, They're comfortable.'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

The Exobus

"In 200 cubits, right-turn, then stay on the current road..."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

'I'll let your people go, but making kosher box lunches for them is out of the question!'

"You think you're brave? I read Hebrew in front of a live audience."

Joe's Bar: Sorry, closed to the public due to on-premises 'Bar Mitzvah'.