Religious Follower Pillows

'That's my slogan, you lousy thieveing creep!'

"There's a man at the door collecting for Jesus...."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

Drive-thru Church

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'I think we're going to need an ANNOTATED edition.'

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

I am your BIGGEST fan!

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Nativity - The sitcom

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

"The buck really stops with him."

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Pastoring for Dummies

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

"But how many followers do you have?"

Pope Francis

Decisions a Pope makes