Conversion Pillows

"Like you, I was lost...then I found Jesus!"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'You might want to let that one go...'

A religious discussion

'It was a bit of a culture shock for my parents too - they're Jewish.'

"When did you decide to start going to church?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

"Now that's what I call an offer you can't refuse!"

"The only spells she does anymore are the Gospels."

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Agnes when did you go all religious?"

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

Pharaoh Cocoon

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You've changed."

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

"Wings will be cool, I guess, but I'm mostly hoping the braces and pimples fall off."

"After seventeen years underground, I'm gonna buzz my ass off."

You will always find a spot to garden

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"I prefer your early pieces."

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Yeah, I'm on metamorphosis leave tomorrow: I can't wait!'

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

She was always an introvert.

Have you considered the possibility that you're only hiding from yourself?