Conversion Specialist Pillows

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

You will always find a spot to garden

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

'Well, I'm glad to have you with us!'

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

Je-Hereford's Witnesses

'Meet Charles, the office 'old-timer'. He's been hangin' around stock tickers, water coolers, copy machines, and now laser printers for 40 years!'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

'When we converted the pub into a house, we decided to keep some of the original features.'

New Electric Car

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

'...you say my electronic submission carried a virus that destroyed all the hard drives in your company?'

When this is buildings we can say we remember when all this was fields.

'You might want to let that one go...'

MUM Look what I swapped your mobile for

"Now that's what I call an offer you can't refuse!"

"Agnes when did you go all religious?"

Ralph's Transmission: Now Hiring All Shifts.

A religious discussion

After hundreds of submissions, he had finally been asked to lunch with the editor of the quarterly.

"As far as I'm concerned, it just takes my kind."

"Do you really believe, Gerald?"

"What's in it for me?"

'I had it converted into a P.O. box.'

"When did you decide to start going to church?"

"What room?"