Professional Transitioner Pillows

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

"Nice design but you haven't quite mastered the technology!"

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

'It's a shame, he has MASSES of experience.'

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

'Instead of firing me, he could have tolerated mediocrity a little longer.'

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

"Recently separated."

"Congratulations. We're 'last hired, first fired' here, so everyone agreed we had to hire someone!"

'Why, yes. . . Bert did work as a mortgage broker before opening this place. . . How'd you guess?'

'Before computers, son, we were nerds who shuffled paper.'

'Why did you leave your last job?'

"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."

'This goalie used to be a jockey.'

"Stan used to be a motivational speaker but then the kids finally moved out."

'I hope you realize Simkins that you have now had the best years of your life...'

"Yes very good, but have you consider a role in cyber?"

'Norma, Mr. Reaper here is seeking to make a career change.'

The Pediatrician Turned Gynecologist