Religious Change Gifts

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Horse statue throws off rider.

The ten ammendments

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

Black Crayon

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

"Holy moly!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

Disraeli Introduces a more Extensive Reform Bill

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

"The arc of the moral universe."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

"Students always think that they're going to change the world..."

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

Corruption in the Vatican.

"Instead of poison, I introduce liberal, intellectual ants into the population, eroding the ants' patriotism and causing them to question the authoritarian rule of the queen. Slowly, over generations, it weakens the ants' genetic resolve to the point where they stay in the nest at all times, watching television and writing letters to the editor."

Vote

John Wycliffe

Self-discovery of a gadfly.

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Damn change and newfangled ideas...if mindless back breaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for ME!"

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"

Kiss My Ring

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age world."