Religious Change Gifts

'Dad, I've joined the baptists.'

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Horse statue throws off rider.

The ten ammendments

R.C.I.A.

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

Got god? (no you don't...He's got you!)

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Black Crayon

"Holy moly!"

"Back in the day, this pub was full of young, long-haired radicals, hell-bent on changing the world."

"The arc of the moral universe."

Americans have been in denial about the cause of mass shootings for a while but it's time to get serious about door control.

Disraeli Introduces a more Extensive Reform Bill

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

"Students always think that they're going to change the world..."

John Wycliffe

Corruption in the Vatican.

Vote

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

"Instead of poison, I introduce liberal, intellectual ants into the population, eroding the ants' patriotism and causing them to question the authoritarian rule of the queen. Slowly, over generations, it weakens the ants' genetic resolve to the point where they stay in the nest at all times, watching television and writing letters to the editor."

Self-discovery of a gadfly.

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Damn change and newfangled ideas...if mindless back breaking work was good enough for my ancestors it's good enough for ME!"

I brought your coffee and a list of new things about the world you're going to have to learn to accept

Kiss My Ring

"You realise that the job involves Sunday work?"