Religious Reform Gifts

John Wycliffe

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Thomas Cranmer

The ten ammendments

'It's just like New-Time religion, but recognizes sin.'

'What about three-day Sabbaths?'

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

"Holy moly!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

"It's the appendix to the Ten Commandments: The Ten Ultimatums."

'I suppose technically you're right. But we still prefer not to think of it as a gated community.'

Yahweh/Your Way

Pope Francis

Corruption in the Vatican.

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Kiss My Ring

Philipp Melanchthon (Lutherism)

Pope recognizes same sex civil union

"From now on it will be God, the Holy Non binary, God the Holy Cisgender and God the..."

'I'm new here-where are all the nuns?'

"Our gender neutral parent who art in heaven..."

'Dad, I've joined the baptists.'

Women outside church, "well I don't like the way he's leaning towards Rome."

"We consider our church pretty progressive, and not just because we serve energy drink for communion."

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."

"It's a new directive announcing we can't wear religious symbols at work!"

Dinner Gong in a Silent Monastery

'We've got to elect someone absolutely scandal-free...'

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"