Church Reform Gifts

Vatican Reforms

'We've got to elect someone absolutely scandal-free...'

Irish PM lambasts Irish catholic church for continual sex abuse cover ups.

'I hope it's the start of a new papal era, it would be nice to cover something different up...'

It's only a sin if you talk about it

See no evil. . .

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

F&E Building Movers. Ever moved a church before? The hardest part is the organ transplant.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

Conclave.

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Pope Francis

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

Notice on back of bishop's gown - How's My Droving.

'Technically, you do qualify for five weeks of vacation, but your request for 35 Sundays off has to go under review.'

Pope Francis

John Wycliffe

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Corruption in the Vatican.

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

Pope recognizes same sex civil union

"They're passing a plate? Great, I'm starved!"

Philipp Melanchthon (Lutherism)

Building a Church.

"Your god can't stop his own priests from raping children in his own churches. So what makes you think he can help you find your T.V. remote?"

'Dad, I've joined the baptists.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that Mr. Crenshaw gave up Sunday golf to go to church.'

"God is unhappy with your views on women bishops. In fact She's furious..."

"Maybe we should change the name of the parish to something cool, like the Protestants do and add a coffee bar."

Do Not Cross the Vatican