Church Modernizing Gifts

'Here's the state of the art gym, here's the coffee bar and internet cafe ... oh, yeah - and this little thing over here is the new sanctuary.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

Drive-thru Church

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

Computerized society.

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"We'd like some scenes from Genesis over here, followed by David composing the Psalms over there, and at the end, let's have Abraham pointing the way to the coat room."

The new electronic system is efficient, but the garage had to sacrifice parking spaces for it.

Nethead strip: Fashion sense

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

'You can take down your little sign, Marlene, we're switching over to computers on Monday.'

Stainglass Windows '33

Auditions: To Perform at Metro Stations Today.

Bishop looking at 'friends annointed' website.

Growing Churches

'-and now a prayer for the roof fund...'

Modern day smoke signals.

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

'Well Ma, I guess it's time to update our milking machine.'

"Subscribe to receive a new commandment every month."

Alas, Hansel and Gretel had left a digital trail...

'...and to speed up the collection process, donations can now be made by texting 'CHURCH' to 873346.'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"If you're going to use a TV as your computer monitor, I suggest investing in a new model."

Jeff wondered. Maybe it was time he modernized the company's IT infrastructure.

Building a Church.

'We've got to elect someone absolutely scandal-free...'

"It's cool, but you kinda miss the trumpet fanfare, right?"Sign: "WELCOME JOSH!"

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."