Fairy Tale Subversion Critics Gifts

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

"You're telling me I should leave the artists' commune that saved me from my stepmother's tyrannical elitism, where I have seven boyfriends, to become the impotent figurehead of another unjust power structure?"

Mad Hatter's tea party.

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

"This isn't how the story went at all."

This wasn't quite the fairytale ending Colin had anticipated.

'Come on, dad...why would anyone follow a witch into a gingerbread house? It clearly wasn't built to code.'

' You shouldn't believe everything you read in the fairy stories.'

Male Mid-Life Myth--The Hair Fairy

'Did she marry the prince for love for for money?'

'Could you give me big tits?'

"I like 'Cinderella' - it's just that I feel the characters of the stepsisters are underwritten."

Disney Princess 1950s - 3000

Alice Through The Looking Glass - The Red King and the Red Queen.

'Yes, Cinders, you SHALL go to the Ball!'

'Forty years is as much 'Happily Ever After' as I can tolerate.'

'Why is it that there are so many bedtime stories about stupid princes and princesses, but no cool ones about zombies and chainsaws?'

"I appreciate your offer, but I was really hoping to marry a doctor."

If it were today. . .

'I don't care if I have been here for a hundred years! What kind of pervert kisses a girl while she's sleeping?!'

'Typical media bias. First they label the wolf 'the big BAD wolf' then they only give Little Red Riding Hood's point of view.'

Little Dutch boy prevents sand from falling in hour glass.

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

'HOLD ON! You're telling me that out of the whole population, in an entire kingdom, this glass slipper fitted just ONE person?!'

"Did Robin Hood give to the poor only for the deduction?"

"Forget the glass slipper thing. I've just installed the Tinderella app."

Tooth Fairy's Third Favourite Saying.

The green shoots of recovery, and other fairy tales.

"I—I miss my frog wife."

"... and they both pretended to live happily ever after."