Fairy Tale Revamper Gifts

'Then...just as they ran out of petrol, Hansel and Gretel saw a gleaming house made entirely from fully chromed motorcycle components!'

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

This man is an island.

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

'I'm sorry. I have to cite you because the frog you kissed and turned into a prince was an endangered species.'

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"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

"Hiya, sweetie! Don’t mind us..!" "We’re here to protect you from boys in girls restrooms..!" "What’s in the basket..?"

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

K9 Litterati.

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

"My client would like to plead 'not guilty' to all three charges of damage to private property."

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

'Read me the one about the three homeless little pigs.'

"What if the dish and the spoon run away together?" "Not bad, Doug, not bad at all." "And a crockpot tries to lure the dish away with cash and loads of jewels!" "Come on, Rita! That's been done to death. Too derivative."

The King's New Robes.

'Once upon a time'...'I've hear it.'

The Secret Service gets a new look.

I'm his lawyer, here to defend inaccuracies in his resume.

"Three pizzas: One too hot, one too cold, and one just right."

Hansel and Gretel, now microwavable.

Wolf in bed.

"He's growing up too fast. Instead of hearing a fairytale, he wants to know about rights in the workplace."

"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited, but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."

"Very bold, but I'm not sure it makes you a risk-taker."

"Frankly, Mr. Sims, it's your resume. It's all 'me, me, me,' isn't it?"

"By God, you're not a man who's afraid to fail."

Some things Alice did in wonderland have been glossed over.

'It would help if you updated your resume.'