Bedroom Revamper Gifts

'My husband I haven't been sleeping so we changed from a memory mattress to an amnesia one...we're still not sleeping properly, but now we've forgotten all about it by the time we wake up.'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'Never mind about buying that trampoline. I love your new bed!'

The bluebird of happiness couldn't make it. I'm the finch of eh, I can't complain.

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

' I said, you WIN, I'll pay your dorm rent!!!'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

'Is your cap on tight? We don't want any more accidents in the bed, do we?'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"References? Well, I just got six references from the guys in your waiting room."

"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"

Football addict

'I'll stop saying you've changed jobs too many times if you'll stop giving me notice.'

The trouble with memory foam beds.

"What do you have that's bigger than 'king'?"

"This next song is for all the music teachers who said I'd never make it."

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

"When your memory foam mattress forgets."

'Pillow too soft?'

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Musician sings off key while his dog can only watch,his jaws strapped together

Russell Rebrand

"Are we there yet?"

Dali Paints His Dreams

Time stood still – which made it an easy target.

The King's New Robes.

'I would've hired you if you had fudged a little more on your application.'

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

Colin's GPS was to prove useless at finding Maureen's 'G' spot.

The Secret Service gets a new look.